Where you long to be
by XGrlGamerX
Summary: What if Erik didn't hang the man on the night of the performance of "LL Muto"? Would Christine not have gone to the roof-top with Raoul? This is the story of how fear can turn to love. A EC fanfic.
1. Last Night

Where you want to be

Christine laid in her seat as she was surrounded by people putting on make-up. She was getting ready to play the part as the "Page Boy" in her upcoming performance "LL Muto". Christine lay in her soft cushioned chair placing blush on her pale cheeks as her eyes were glazed. Her mind was wandering as usual, but this time on something important.

She sighed as she placed the brush down and stared at her weak form in the mirror. Her brown curly locks fell around her shoulder, her eyes were a dark chocolate brown and under them were bags. She looked like a mess, no matter how much make-up she put on. As she pulled her hair back and tided it back she whispered to herself. " A man……..not an angel, a man….."

Meg scurried down the halls with her mother behind her heel. She pasted the many gossiping ballet rats who kept asking her where her best friend Christine had been the night before. Meg though just ignored them as she walked into the dressing rooms. She saw Christine standing in front of the mirror with a daze look mumbling to herself. Meg stared worriedly toward her friend who had been acting abnormal since she returned this morning. Meg's mother, Madame Giry, warned her not to mention anything to her, but Meg already knew better. As she closed the door softly behind her and stepped into the room she quietly said "Christine, are you ready?"

Christine turned her head towards Meg with an expressionless face. In Meg's opinion it seemed like Christine was staring right thorough her.

" Christine, are you alright? If your not feeling well you don't have to go on stage." Meg said

Christine blinked, seeming like she had just only seen her. She nodded her head to the side perusing that she go on the stage tonight. She then walked right past Meg without saying a word. Meg turned starting to say Christine until her mother put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head.

"Mother, I'm worried about her, she isn't acting herself and she seems distressed about something." Meg said.

" Don't worry Meg, she will be fine. I can assure you she'll be back to normal soon."

Madame Giry than put on a fake smile and headed down the hall in which Christine had just traveled. Meg stood for a minute looking into the dressing rooms.

" I sure hope she's alright." Meg sighed as she walked down the hall.

" Damn those fools!" Erik cursed to himself as he kicked his piano chair to the side.

" How dare they deny the "Phantoms" wish!" Erik stomped to his room and sat on his bed cradling his masked face in his hands. Erik's emotions were getting the best of him rage, guilt, and concern. Only last night had he brought Christine down to his lair and let her stay the night. Everything was going fine until she "had" to pull of his mask!

"Why couldn't she hold her curiosity! Foolish girl…..!" Erik sobbed as he remembered the image of horror that crossed her face as she saw the disfigured form on the right side of his face. He felt even worse when he remembered how he yelled and cursed her, which certainly didn't make her think any higher of him! He had apologized but it was still no way to make up to what he did. His insides even curled more when he remembered the "boy" whom made his angel smile, something he could never do to her. Not only had he frightened her last night but he had also lied to her, pretending to be her "Angel of Music". Of course, she knew the truth now, what kind of angel could have a demon's face! To make matters worse the mangers were once AGAIN disobeying his orders! He had briefly just wrote a letter stating that Christine would be playing the lead role of the Countess in tonights performance, but instead they had put the person who he had told them NOT to put as the Countess in Christine's place! So many emotions were swirling in the abyss of Erik that he did not know how to control them and destroyed anything in his path. He had already smashed a couple of mirrors which had shown his reflection and his hands were bleeding.

Erik chuckled to himself "It's amazing in how you make me feel so many things Christine, I should hate you, but I can't stop from loving you."

He stood up from his bed and walked to his organ.

"Tonight I'll make up in how I yelled at you. I'll make sure that you play the leading role in tonights performance! Those managers will learn not to disobey the "Phantom Of The Opera" again!"

And with that Erik put his cape on his shoulder and grabbed his Punjab lass and hid it under his cape and set off to the stage above.

A/N: Hey! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Review if you can please! J


	2. CROAK!

Christine stood on the stage next to someone she loathed ,La Carlotta, as she waited for the curtain to rise. As she walked towards the stage a couple of minutes with Meg and Madame Giry she remembered the cold stares she received and the cruel remarks her fellow students whispered to one another.

" I heard she slept with the Vicomte last night! Someone told me she's sleeping with him so she can take the role of La Carlotta!" one of the ballet girls whispered.

"What a little tramp!" she heard another say

Christine sighed and tried to ignore them but she felt tears trickle in the corner of her eyes. She felt grateful to Madame Giry as she shoed the girls off to the stage. "Don't pay any attention to them, my dear." Madame Giry said as she put a hand on Christine's shoulder.

But no matter what the girls said to her it wouldn't hurt as bad as what was really bothering her. It was hard to believe that last night that she believed in the "Angel of Music" and then tonight she laughed at herself for ever believing such a thing.

"_Meg was right all along, there's no angel of music, it's just been a fantasy to which I was so foolish to fall for!"_

Christine scolded herself in her mind as she wiped a tear from her face. If it wasn't bad enough she felt even worse thinking about how she had pulled of the man's mask to which she had thought to be her angel. Her curiosity had got the better of her and she had to know what lay behind that mask! She knew long before then that there wasn't an angel of music but she had to find out who was the man who made her soul soar. But her stupidity trapped her again as she pulled of the mask and saw her "angels" face! It wasn't an angel though, it was the devils face! At first Christine was in horror at such a gruesome sight and at how he threw her on the ground and cursed her. She remembered the rage of fury and disappointment in his eyes as he stared at her. But as he explained his situation she could only pity the man who lived under the ground hiding from the earth.

" _All he ever did was show you kindness and you return the favor by pulling of his only protection and losing his trust!" _

Christine felt a chill run up her spine as she remembered his face. The skull so distorted on the right side of his face with the bumps that grew on his bald scalp. But with that fear came a pity and another feeling to which Christine couldn't explain. As she battled with herself for the rest of the waiting period she finally decided on finding him tonight and apologizing for her crude actions the night before. Then the curtain went up and she began to act.

Erik stood on the ropes over the stage as he stared below at Christine. His heart ached when he saw the state she was in. Her eyes with bags under them, it seemed she had aged since just last night! He knew it was ALL his fault! His anger and grief grew even more when he overheard one of the ballet rats gossiping about her. His fists clenched on his Punjab lass as he stared at the filthy little dancing whores take their place on the stage. He planned on getting his vendenge tonight at Carlotta and the dirty man known as Joseph Buquet but as he thought of them lying dead before them, all he could imagine was Christine's face as she stared at the murderer. He couldn't stand those brown chocolate eyes burning his soul again like they did last night. He sighed as he put the Punjab lass away under his cape.

" I'm afraid your making me to soft, Christine." Erik laughed to himself as he still planned to make Carlotta lose her voice tonight.

It happened so quickly! Christine remembered in how she was performing her part regularly in "LL Muto when all of a sudden a voice boomed from above

"DID I NOT INFORM YOU THAT BOX 5 WAS TO BE KEPT EMPTY!"

Christine shuddered as she remembered and recognized her angels voice! She looked up toward the chandler and saw for a brief second a man in a cloak with a white mask covering the right side of his face, but for that brief second they had caught eye contact and Christine felt a wave of emotions engulf her. But as soon as she made eye contact it as soon was gone and so was he. She heard Meg scream behind her. " It's him, The Phantom of The Opera!"

Christine could only stand and say " It's him!"

But as soon as she spoke Carlotta screamed at her to be quiet as she ran off the stage to spray her throat. Christine mentally imagined the old toad getting sick on stage but soon pushed it away. As Carlotta got back on stage she informed everyone around her that everything was fine.

As the performance began again it ended nearly as fast because right in the middle of Carlotta's singing a loud "CROAK!" came out of the Prima Donna's mouth. People stood in horror as they watched Carlotta continue to croak. Especially Christine who had worried that her wish became true and she was mentally asking God to forgive her sin. As she stood in shock the curtains came down and she was pulled out by Monsieur Firmin as he informed the audience that she would be playing the role of the Countess. Christine didn't even have enough time to get the words through her head because Madame Giry was quickly rushing to the dressing room muttering "Those fools, never listen!"


	3. Please, forgive me!

Christine fell on her bed with a big thud. She had just returned from the performance of "IL Muto" and was exhausted. She had to take the place to the ill fated "La Carlotta" who had mysteriously gotten sick right after the "Phantom" spoke to the audience. Christine had a gut feeling that her "Angel" had something to do with this. This probably was due to the fact that Madame Giry was muttering that they never listen to him.

Christine laid up in her bed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She looked even worse then when she first walked on the stage. Her hair was in tangles and was in a messy bun. Her eyes looked even darker and her face was pale from exhaustion and stress. Christine sighed having second thoughts on visiting her "Angel" tonight. She was mentally and physically tired and wasn't sure if she could think properly if she was face to face again. She wasn't even sure if he wanted to see her again, of course she couldn't blame him if he didn't , but the very thought nearly killed Christine when she thought that she wouldn't be able to ever see her "Angel" again.

"_He did lie to you though! All those years pretending to be your angel of music! But……… I guess it was the only way he could communicate with me. It's not like he could waltz in and enter duce himself!"_

Christine began to rub her temples when she heard a knock at the door. She moaned and answered " I'm too tired to talk right now, I talk to whomever you are tomorrow"

But whoever was at the door opened anyways and Christine turned around shouting

"I said I'm tir----------- Raoul!" Christine said surprised and ashamed as she looked at her childhood friend.

"I'm sorry Little Lotte, but I couldn't go to sleep tonight without congratulated you on your performance." Raoul applied as he hugged her. " I'm also worried about your disappearance last night, I came back to your room and heard you talking to someone! No one will tell me what happened!"

Christine's emotions went from apologetic to anger as she heard that her must "trusted" friend was eavesdropping on her!

" You were eavesdropping on me! Raoul, whom I talk to is none of your business and you do not have to worry about me I was in no danger what so ever last night!"

Raoul gave her a concerned look as he looked at her figure. "You don't look like nothing's bothering you. I swear Christine if anyone harmed you I'll find them and face them like a man!" Raoul said with a sudden rage.

Christine stepped back at his sudden rage and quickly reassured him that she was fine. "I'm fine Raoul, I'm just really tired from all the stress and………last night I decided to go for a mid-night stroll!" Christine lied.

Raoul gave her a disbelieving look and held his hands in hers. "Christine, you know you can always trust me. I have and always will be your child-hood friend and…….and……never mind." Raoul said blushing.

Christine looked at her hands entwined with his and blushed as well. She knew that Raoul had become a very handsome man and had lots of wealth and success. She knew that he and her were childhood sweethearts when they were younger and that any women would be lucky to have him as a husband. Just the thought alone made her blush.

"Raoul……I know that we have been friends for awhile, but you and I know that we can't go any further with than that because of my new career."

Raoul looked as though his heart were ripped out. "Christine you know dating me would not interfere with your schedule! I would support you 100 of the way!" He again held her in an embrace. "I just want you to be happy."

Christine just closed her eyes at the soft touch of his embrace and felt her heart flutter. How she wished she could date Raoul but she knew the thought was impossible. Raoul deserved much better then her and she knew that if she date Raoul now those "rumors" would probably become a true story in the dirty little ballerina's minds. She held on to Raoul as long as she could before she woke back into reality.

"I'm sorry Raoul, I would love to be your girlfriend…..but I can't possibly to that right now in my current state. Maybe in the future perhaps but not right now." Christine said with a relieving sigh.

Raoul looked hurt of course but understood and hugged her again and placed a kiss on her forehead. " I guess I'll have to wait for awhile then, Little Lotte. Perhaps dinner later this week as friends might cheer you up?" Raoul asked almost begging.

"Perhaps." Christine said with a smile.

Raoul hugged her again before he left her in her room. Christine stood in shock at the new emotions that had stirred in her with Raoul's touch. She almost forgot about visiting her angel that night, but she heard a horrible and grieving moan coming from her mirror. She turned around quickly and faced her mirror smiling and asking "Angel?"

Erik had come to see how Christine was doing that night when he heard that "boys" voice! He was hoping that Christine had denied his offer again until she spoke that she would "love to but couldn't". He wondered if the reason she denied her best friend was because of _him_ but he soon swept away that thought. When he left the room he felt a sob begin to rise in his throat. He tried stopping it but it only made matter worse when it came out. Christine had obviously heard him because she turned around facing the mirror asking "Angel?" The thing that caught Erik off guard was that she was _smiling_!

"_There's no way she had forgiven me yet! I nearly scared her to death and she is smiling at me now!"_

Erik first thought he was dreaming, but when she stepped forward asking "Angel, are you there?" he knew he wasn't. He pretended he wasn't there for awhile, waiting to see Christine's reactions. If he saw correctly she looked disappointed that he didn't respond. She turned away and sat on her bed looking as if she was going to cry! Erik quickly put his hand on the handle of the mirror which would open the mirror until she heard Christine crying and speaking.

"Angel, I'm so sorry about pulling off your mask! It was very immature of me and I beg you to please forgive me! I want to stay friends with the person that had guided me for so many long years! Please I beg you to forgive me!"

Erik was appalled that she asked him to _forgive_ her. Here he thought she was tormented in how he frightened her with his face and words but it seemed now it was because she wanted him to forgive her! He was even more shocked when she asked to keep their _friendship_ alive. She considered him a _friend?_ A rush of relief filled Erik as he looked at Christine's figure crying. He also felt guilty for not responding sooner.

"I'm here Christine, I'm always here." Erik calmly said.

Christine looked up from her pillow and quickly said "Angel! Is it really you? Do you forgive me for my foolishness the other night?"

Erik felt his heart being torn apart as she so eagerly asked for forgiveness.

"Yes, I forgive you, but do you forgive me for my rash actions. You know I would never hurt you."

Christine looked up and smiled. "Yes……yes, I forgive you for lying to me and yelling at me. I shouldn't expect less from what I did to you." She got on her feet and walked towards the mirror. "I would like to speak with you Angel."

Erik gulped as he stared at Christine who was standing right in front of the mirror not even noticing that he was inches away from him.

"Why would you want to do that?" he asked

"Because, I want to, I want to go back to your lair tonight and hear your music!"

Erik lowered his head at the innocent girls actions. "Anything for you Christine." He opened the mirror and stared at her figure. She still had tears running down her cheeks and she looked a mess, and yet so beautiful. She smiled up at him and took him in an embrace which made Erik lose his balance for a second as he stood there not knowing what to do.

"I've missed you angel! Did you hear me sing tonight."

Erik looked down at the top of her head slowly and cautiously placing a hand on her back saying "Of course, you know I wouldn't miss it for the world."

A/N: Hey sorry for the misspelling of "IL Muto" hehe!


	4. Where should you turn?

When Erik had docked the boat on the shore of his own lake in his lair he was surprised to find Christine smiling as if she was happy to be back! He blushed slightly as he got out of the boat and placed out his hand so she could take it. She took it without hesitating and walked onto the shore with him. Her big brown eyes were wandering around his home, like she had seen it for the first time. Erik stood by his organ as she walked around carefully touching pictures of her and other objects around his lair. Erik uncomfortably coughed and Christine turned around at him and smiled.

"You're a genius, angel! I have never seen so many fabulous paintings, furniture, and music in my whole life!" she said.

Erik blushed again and responded. "When one lives alone you'll be surprised in how we have much time to learn such things."

Christine frowned, forgetting of his solitude.

"I'm sorry, Angel, I wasn't thinking." Christine apologized.

"Don't worry Christine, it's not your fault." Erik took off his cape "Now what is it that you wanted to talk or see in my lair?"

Christine gave a sigh. "Angel, I came here because I wanted to be with you! You're a good friend." Christine smiled innocently.

"Christine, you and I both know that I'm not an angel so please don't call me that anymore." Erik said as he took a seat on his bench.

Christine's face scrunched up at this question. "I have nothing else to call you, what is it you would like me to call you?" Christine asked.

Erik hesitated for a moment in telling her his name. "It's…..it's…..Erik" he gulped.

Christine smiled. "That's a very handsome name, Erik. Well Erik, I came down here to be with you."

Erik didn't know if he felt happy or sad in the fact that they were just "friends" but he guessed it was better then nothing. Erik never had a friend before unless he accepted Madame Giry who had taken him from his hell. Erik smiled as he looked at Christine who was smiling and she already knew what his face looked like!

Erik felt butterflies in his stomach as he walked towards her.

"Would you like to sit down?" Erik asked as he stood up from the bench and walked towards her.

Christine looked down at the ground and muttered in a shy voice. "Sure, Erik I would like to please."

At first Christine was excited and relieved that Erik had forgiven her and that they would still be talking to one another. But as they got closer to his lair she got uncomfortable not knowing what she would do or say when they got there. When he had reached for her hand she took it willingly and walked onto the shore umserbing everything around her. She saw beautiful pictures of herself, pictures of her past and present as she walked around his dark lair filled with scented and many candles. As she pasted the model of herself in a wedding dress she passed it like she didn't see it. She already knew that Erik had deep feelings for her but Christine was pretty sure that she thought of him as a friend, but when she thought of last night she knew it "just" wasn't friends. She would always push the idea of loving him afraid of her future if she gave him her heart. A chill would run up her spine when she thought about the feelings he gave her when they were singing and dark thoughts would sweep her mind and she couldn't help but succumb to it. She would always curse herself later and try thinking of something else, like eating dinner with Raoul. Christine sighed as she remembered Raoul and his proposal that they should date. Christine knew right away she would give her world to be his wife, but then when she thought about it she suddenly remembered Erik and the affect he had on her. If it were even possibly it seemed like she was in "love" with both men. She would scold herself at the idea though "_You can't be in love with Erik you haven't even known him for a day, but then he was there for you most of your life supporting and comforting you as your angel. Raoul you've known since you were little but what did he know of you now! You're a women now!" _

Christine had mental fights with herself until Erik had asked her if she wanted to sit down. Christine blushed looking down at the floor after just imagining him and her lovers. As Erik led her to a chair in the back of his lair with a table. He took out some dirty yet beautiful china cups from a cabinet and placed them on a plate in front of her.

"Excuse me for the luxury my dear, I don't have many guests." Erik said as he poured some warm tea in the cup.

Christine looked at the tea swirl in her cup and said "Thank-you Erik." She blushed as they made eye contact. Erik turned away getting the tea and Christine looked down and twisted the satin red napkin on her lap.

That evening they had a wonderful chat and tea.

Christine woke up the next morning in her bed. She assumed that Erik had brought her back up when she fell asleep. They had been singing together when Erik did his own duet and Christine couldn't help but fall asleep and let the music consume her. She was a little disappointing in not saying goodnight before she left but she knew in her heart she would be seeing him soon.

She got out of her bed and sleepily walked towards the curtains pulling them back as the sunlight lit her room. She put her hand over her eyes covering the glare of the sun as she looked at the people below. She smiled at the people below her and turned towards her dresser to brush her hair. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw a letter on her dresser addressed to her. She knew immediately who it was from and opened quickly. She gazed over the letter, reading a couple of times before dropping it on her bed. She placed a hand on her heart and gasped "Erik!"

Christine quickly got dressed and headed towards rehearsals. She found Meg stretching and smiling up at her friend. "Good morning sleepy-head, I presume your doing well after a splendid performance last night!" Meg said smiling at her friend.

"I'm fine Meg, just a little stressed about things." Christine sighed as she sat down on the floor with Meg.

"You want to talk about it?" Meg asked

"Maybe later Meg." Christine responded as Madame Giry walked into the room.

"Well good morning Ms. Daee! I presume that your acceptation for missing practice is a good one?" Madame Giry asked placing her hands on her hips.

Christine gulped looking at Madame Giry with a sorry smile. "It won't happen again Madame. I promise!" Christine apologized.

Madame Giry gave her a stern look and said "Very well, you did well last night my dear. You should be proud of yourself."

Christine blushed at the compliment as others snickered around her except Meg who beamed at her. "Thank-you." was all Christine could say.

As she walked around the opera she found that the ballerinas found every way possibly to snicker at her and talk about her behind her back. Christine felt angry and sorrowful tears fill in the corners of her eyes but wouldn't accept them to win. She walked to the rooftop and stared in awe at the Paris surroundings. She was surprised to find that Raoul was up there as well.

"Hello Little Lotte, have you come up here to enjoy the view of Paris?" Raoul asked.

"Indeed I have Raoul, one of my favorite features of the Paris Opera house." Christine gulped. "So Raoul how are you?"

Raoul looked at her for a brief second and then turned his gaze again to Paris. "I'm fine I guess. Just stressed at the idea of you not accepting my friendly invitation."

Christine rolled her eyes and pushed Raoul playfully. "Raoul, don't joke like that. I told you I would love to go to dinner with you and I would love to date you. I'm just going through something now that I need to settle before I date you."

Raoul turned his gaze again to Christine and held her hands. "I wasn't joking Christine. You have matured and turned into a beautiful women. I've known you since we were little and I know we get along. I love you Christine." Raoul said as he held her hands.

Christine blushed at his words and again felt the strange feeling in her stomach. Her brain began to pound in her head in how Raoul's touch was much different from Eriks. She had no idea in which was love and one was a crush. Then all of a sudden she saw Raoul pucker his lips and move towards her lips.

A/N: sorry that this chapter wasn't as interesting, it's a chapter that was necessary thought. I hope you don't mind the cliff hangers! J


	5. I gave you my music

It all happened so fast…….

Christine felt the warmth from Raoul's body and breath. She could have easily consumed to it, Raoul's handsome face and his powerful kiss, but the though of her Angel nagged at her brain. In less then a second Christine lowered her head making Raoul barely miss her colorful lips and kiss the top of her nose. Christine shuddered a little at the warm sensation on the tip of her nose but quickly turned away. She folded her arms across her chest and turned her back to Raoul.

"I'm sorry Raoul" she protested " I'm just going through a faze"

She bit her lip and slowly walked over to the edge if the roof. She looked down at the people below her admiring the view.

Raoul turned to her back hurt. "How could she!" Raoul asked himself angry and hurt. He put his gloves on protecting them from getting numb and walked beside Christine. He placed a hand on Christine's shoulder and felt her jump at his touch. He slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and placed his head on her shoulder.

"We can get through this faze together Christine if you let me help you." Raoul said rocking her back and forth in his arms.

Christine enjoyed the comfort in his warm arms and closed her eyes as he rocked her back and forth. Many emotions stirred within her as she was wrapped in his arms.

Raoul suddenly had an idea. He had remembered the days where she and him were little and would sing all the time. The glaze in her eyes as she consumed into the song that either her father played or she sang. He slowly began to sing.

"_No more talk of darkness, forget this idolized fears. I'm here with you beside you, to hold you and to guide you."_

_C_hristine froze when she heard Raoul's voice. He was a good singer but not as good as _Erik _… the thought quickly came to her, but then left as Raoul sang to her. They went through a whole song singing about the love they had for one another and then just like minutes before Raoul tried to kiss her. But this time Christine was consumed in the song like she always had been and kissed him passionately. When they were done kissing they looked into one another's eyes. Raoul whispered that he loved her but before Christine could say anything the thought of Erik came back into her mind. She replied with a smile and then they both ventured downstairs for dinner.

Erik lay there motionless as he saw Christine reject Raoul. A feeling of happiness that he never felt before swelled in his lower belly, but it quickly left him with a scar when they sang. Erik was powerless, he wanted to run downstairs to his lair and rid himself of this torment. But he couldn't move without being spotted and he stood there listening to the women he loves exchange her vows with another man. Erik found himself crying silent tears when they kissed at he felt like ending his miserable life at the moment. When they left he fell on his knees with tears streaming down his face. He cradled his face in his hand moaning her name in agony. He took the note that he had recently written her and had attended to leave on her desk from his pocket. He walked over to the edge where Raoul and Christine has just been and crumbled the paper in his hand. Then he dropped the note over the side letting the wind take it with his tears.

As he traveled back to his lair a anger filled in his being. "How dare she, after all I've done!" He forcefully pushed over candle holders and walked to his organ. He sat on his bench and began to pound on the keys silencing his cries of love and anger.


End file.
